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Once I first heard concerning the Enneagram, I bear in mind being so excited to dive in and determine the place I match among the many 9 Enneatypes. Then as I discovered extra concerning the Enneagram I obtained increasingly more confused about what my Enneatype actually was. I took a training course on the Enneagram, learn dozens of books concerning the Enneagram, and spoke to a number of coaches. Over time I went from believing I used to be a 6w5, to a 3w4, and now (after MUCH teaching) I’m settled at 4w5 (self-preservation). One of many issues that may actually show you how to to make clear your sort is knowing what you naturally give attention to. Every of the 9 Enneagram sorts has a fixation; a spotlight that they’ll’t appear to tug their eyes away from except they spend numerous time engaged on it. At the moment that’s what we’re going to be , and we’re additionally going to be giving some suggestions for attaining steadiness.
However you is perhaps asking, what’s the Enneagram? The Enneagram is an historical persona typing system that describes folks by way of 9 primary sorts. Every sort has a distinct sample of considering, feeling, and appearing that stems from a deeper inside motivation. At the moment we’re the place every Enneagram sort naturally focuses their consideration; what they discover earlier than different folks do. Why does this matter? Effectively, if we are able to perceive what the folks round us give attention to, we are able to higher perceive them and their likes, dislikes, frustrations, and stressors. If we perceive this stuff about ourselves we are able to work to develop, increase our focus, and cope with areas the place we could also be hyper-fixating.
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Estimated studying time: 15 minutes
What You Focus On, Based mostly On Your Enneagram Kind
Enneagram Kind 1 – The Perfectionist
Should you’re a One, you instantly discover right or incorrect actions or behaviors. Perfectionists maintain themselves to excessive requirements and imagine everybody else ought to do the identical. To the One, life is about being good, enhancing their world, and assembly the countless critiques of their very own thoughts with fixes and enhancements. The 1s’ quest for enchancment leads them to give attention to “rightness” of their surroundings. Errors stand out to them like a sore thumb. Errors, unfairness, accountability or irresponsibility, reliability, and issues of proper and flawed are at all times on their thoughts.
Within the wholesome One, this could seem like being moral, dependable, truthful, sincere, and conscientious. Within the unhealthy One, this could seem like being nit-picking, judgmental, controlling, uncompromising, and self-righteous.
The best way to Obtain Steadiness:
Many Ones over fixate on perfection to the purpose the place they’ll’t get pleasure from life or settle for themselves or others with out numerous criticism and judgment. The important thing for this kind is to learn to let go of their inflexible requirements and permit themselves to make errors. Training self-compassion, being open to completely different views, and studying to see the sweetness in imperfection will help Ones increase their focus past perfection.
Consider Kintsugi, proven within the image above. This Japanese artwork type repairs damaged pottery with gold, silver or platinum to focus on the fantastic thing about imperfection. All of us are like Kintsugi; not considered one of us is ideal, however in our personal methods, we are able to piece collectively one of the best of ourselves into one thing lovely. But when we try for perfection always we set ourselves up for failure, disappointment, exhaustion, and gloom. This isn’t the best way to well being for a One, however a method to judgment, repression, and ache.
Discover out extra about Ones: Assist for the Careworn Out Enneagram 1
Enneagram Kind 2 – The Helper
Should you’re a Two, you naturally discover the wants and needs of others. You sense others’ emotions, discover when there’s a fluctuation of their emotions, and what to do about it. Two’s need to be beloved and valued, and so they usually imagine that this love should be earned via acts of kindness and assist. They’re extremely attuned to the feelings of these round them, continuously scanning for tactics to make themselves indispensable by helping, comforting, and nurturing others. Twos need to be the confidantes; those that everybody turns to once they want assist, knowledge, or recommendation. The 2s’ quest for appreciation leads them to prioritize relationships, emotional connections, alternatives to assist, and acknowledgment of their efforts.
Within the wholesome Two, this could seem like being caring, beneficiant, warm-hearted, supportive, and empathetic. Within the unhealthy Two, this could seem like turning into overbearing, manipulative, needy, possessive, and self-sacrificial to the purpose of neglecting their very own wants.
The best way to Obtain Steadiness:
For Twos, attaining a wholesome steadiness begins with making time for self-discovery and reflection. If Twos are at all times chasing after others’ love and approval, they’ll lose themselves and turn out to be overly consumed with others. Twos have to take time to know their motivations, needs, and desires separate from the act of serving to others. This technique of self-awareness permits them to take care of their intrinsic values and sense of self whilst they join with others. Introspective actions, like journaling, meditation, or solo hobbies, will help them reconnect with their inside world. This self-reflection paves the best way for Twos to supply assist with out compromising their id or well-being, making certain they don’t lose themselves within the pursuit of being wanted by others.
Discover out extra about Twos: 10 Indicators of an Unhealthy Enneagram 2
Enneagram Kind 3 – The Achiever
The main focus of consideration for the Achiever is on success, efficiency, and the looks of being excellent. Threes are pushed by a need to be affirmed, to tell apart themselves, and to be perceived as beneficial via their accomplishments. “What can I do to face above the group?” is a query regularly on their thoughts. Usually this stems from a childhood the place the one manner they felt actually beloved and seen is once they have been distinctive. This creates an grownup who’s aware of duties, targets, and benchmarks that sign success. This grownup is continually looking out for tactics to enhance their efficiency. Their eager sense for what is going to achieve recognition and acceptance motivates Threes to work tirelessly in direction of their aspirations, usually with a strategic plan and a laser focus. The three’s quest for achievement leads them to prioritize effectivity, adaptability, ambition, and the cultivation of a powerful or charming picture.
Within the wholesome Three, this could seem like being motivating, confident, competent, and energetically pursuing their targets with integrity. Within the unhealthy Three, this could seem like turning into overly aggressive, deceitful within the pursuit of success, egotistical, and sacrificing authenticity to take care of a picture of success.
The best way to Obtain Steadiness:
For Threes, life turns into about doing, not being. It revolves round turning into one thing, not accepting who you are at your core. Due to this, Threes usually work themselves to exhaustion, hoping that by doing so they are going to obtain worth. For Threes, it’s essential to comprehend that they’re a part of an even bigger group. They should really feel a part of one thing bigger than themselves and once they do that their nervousness and want to face out begins to reduce. They create the power, imaginative and prescient, and charisma that they naturally have into one thing that’s significant for a higher trigger. Alongside the best way, they should find time for relaxation, mindfulness, and peace. This implies slowing down, letting go of fixed productiveness, and discovering pleasure in easy moments. By doing so, Threes can domesticate a extra genuine sense of self that isn’t solely outlined by their achievements. Many Threes additionally profit from remedy or teaching to discover their deeper selves and motivations past success. By means of this course of, they’ll study to worth themselves for who they’re and never simply what they do.
Discover out extra about Threes: Escaping the Entice of Self-importance for Enneagram Threes
Enneagram Kind 4 – The Individualist
The main focus of consideration for the Individualist is on what’s lacking or missing of their life. These deep souls wander via life looking for an idealized, usually unattainable actuality. They carry with them the sense that one thing of significance inside them is lacking and so they should discover it. Life turns into a journey of searching for that final factor; a love, a state of affairs, knowledge, something that may fill that area and make them really feel complete. Fours are intensely attuned to their emotional states, continuously looking for that means, id, and significance in an effort to search out their distinctive place on this planet. This pursuit usually results in emotions of envy, melancholy, incompleteness. Their quest for uniqueness and authenticity drives them to give attention to their private expression, emotional depth, and the buildup of experiences that align with their idealized imaginative and prescient of life.
Within the wholesome 4, this could seem like being creatively expressive, deeply empathetic, introspective, and capable of finding magnificence within the mundane. Within the unhealthy 4, this could result in turning into self-absorbed, overly moody, envious of others’ perceived ‘normality’ or ‘happiness’, and liable to emotions of inferiority or despair.
The best way to Obtain Steadiness:
For Fours to attain a way of steadiness, integrating elements of the Enneagram Kind One—equivalent to practicality, accountability, and a grounded sense of precept—will be extremely helpful. Participating with the sensible and the true, Fours can then put their feelings into constructive motion, rework their sensitivity into power, and discover a deeper connection to the world by recognizing the sweetness in on a regular basis efforts. Arrange constructive and constructive routines for your self, keep away from “studying” damaging intentions by others about you, and make time to have interaction in the true world quite than getting caught in daydreams about what you “may have” been.
Uncover extra about Fours: The Enneagram 4 – The Individualist
Enneagram Kind 5 – The Investigator
The very first thing that 5’s discover is intrusion. What do different folks count on from them? What outer calls for are draining their power? Fives usually really feel depleted of power and develop an pressing have to hoard up power in order that they don’t turn out to be drained. They’re basically pushed by a necessity to know the world round them, believing that information equips them with the instruments mandatory for navigating life’s challenges. They’re intensely non-public people who worth their independence and autonomy, usually retreating into their wealthy inside worlds to ponder advanced concepts or ideas. Fives are inclined to preserve to themselves for concern that the outer world will make calls for that they’ll’t fulfill, or that others will count on an excessive amount of of them. But at their core, Fives search information, competence, and understanding.
Within the wholesome 5, this could seem like being progressive, insightful, goal, and keenly perceptive, with a deep capability for focus and experience of their areas of curiosity. Within the unhealthy 5, this could seem like being indifferent, overly mental, stingy with time and power, liable to extreme isolation, and being cynical concerning the exterior world.
The best way to Obtain Steadiness:
For Fives to attain steadiness, it’s important to step exterior the confines of their thoughts and have interaction extra absolutely with the bodily and social world. This includes recognizing the worth in getting in contact with their our bodies, maybe via common bodily train or mindfulness practices equivalent to yoga or tai chi, which will help in grounding their usually intense psychological exercise within the sensations and realities of the current second. Moreover, immersion in nature will be profoundly therapeutic for Fives, offering a way of connection to one thing bigger than themselves, and providing a serene surroundings for contemplation away from the distractions of contemporary life.
Equally essential is cultivating relationships with others. Fives are inclined to function below the idea that they have to go it alone, that looking for assist or assist is an indication of weak spot or will inevitably drain their power. Nonetheless, this mindset solely serves to bolster their isolation. By proactively reaching out, expressing their wants, and permitting themselves to be heard, Fives can construct a assist community that enriches their lives and challenges their perception that others shouldn’t be trusted.
Discover out extra about Fives: The Enneagram Kind 5 – The Investigator
Enneagram Kind 6 – The Loyalist
Sixes are the preparation specialists, scanning for potential issues and dangers. They shortly discover problematic patterns; issues that might go flawed sooner or later. Their vigilance concerning the attainable negatives in any state of affairs makes them proficient at foreseeing and making ready for challenges. They’re tuned into the underlying currents, the ‘what ifs’, and infrequently give attention to studying between the traces. Due to this, the world of the 6 can appear threatening, unpredictable, untrustworthy, and stuffed with peril. They attempt to defend themselves in opposition to these threats by being vigilant, actively imagining worst-case situations, asking questions, and analyzing. Making ready for the worst, they hope to keep away from it.
Within the wholesome Six, this could seem like being a talented troubleshooter, preserving communities, taking note of particulars, taking good care of folks, being self-reliant, dependable, and dedicated. Within the unhealthy Six, these qualities can present up as being panicky, paranoid, self-destructive, blaming, and lashing out.
The best way to Obtain Steadiness:
To domesticate steadiness and inside peace, I might encourage Sixes to pause and take inventory of how a lot psychological power they expend dreaming up how they’ll put together for attainable worst-case situations. Take a second to guage how regularly these anticipated situations come to fruition versus the instances when worries stay simply that—worries. Acknowledging this disparity will be step one in studying to quiet the thoughts.
The observe of being current, specializing in the right here and now with out the shadow of future anxieties looming massive, is immensely highly effective. Start noticing and appreciating elements of your surroundings and relationships which are reliable and dependable. This consciousness serves as a basis for exploring new experiences and views. By daring to step out of consolation zones and have interaction with unfamiliar conditions, Sixes can uncover that the world isn’t as terrifying as they anticipated. That there’s magnificence and contentment to be discovered, and that they’ll regularly shift from a mindset dominated by concern to 1 enriched by belief and openness to life’s unfolding journey.
Discover out extra concerning the Six: The Enneagram Six – The Loyalist
Enneagram Kind 7 – The Fanatic
Sevens are continuously looking for out new experiences, choices, and adventures. They discover what’s attainable on the horizon; alternatives for enjoyable, journey, and pleasure. Of their pursuit of pleasure and freedom, they have an inclination to avoid disagreeable feelings, opting as an alternative for selections that give a sense of pleasure and happiness.
A wholesome Seven has a proactive strategy to feelings. They embrace challenges and confront troublesome emotions head-on, permitting for development and resilience. They’re joyful, glad, life like, productive, and enthusiastic. Alternatively, an unhealthy Seven could resort to extreme escapism, avoiding emotional discomfort via fixed distraction and superficial pleasures which may result in recklessness, self-centeredness, and a continuing state of distraction.
The best way to Obtain Steadiness:
To attain equilibrium as a Seven, it’s essential to domesticate mindfulness and self-awareness. Taking moments to pause, breathe, and acknowledge your feelings will help you join together with your inside state. The secret is to course of feelings in full quite than getting virtually accomplished and distracting your self with one thing else. Many Sevens go away so many feelings and fears repressed that they venture them on others in damaging methods or act out to keep away from coping with them. Somewhat than suppressing emotions with distractions, observe absolutely processing your feelings to know their root causes. By studying to establish and tackle the sources of impatience, Sevens can discover out what they’re actually fabricated from and the right way to be extra authentically joyful.
Discover out extra about Sevens: 7 Struggles of the Enneagram 7 Kind
Enneagram Kind 8 – The Challenger
Eights are recognized for his or her depth, assertiveness, and a powerful need to take care of management over their very own lives and shield these round them from injustice. Their focus is on energy, who has it, who wants it, the right way to shield it for themselves and/or others. They discover what wants management and what wants a degree of assertiveness to handle.
When wholesome, they face challenges head-on, displaying exceptional management and stamina. Eights are pushed by a quest for fact and equity, keen to confront something they understand as dishonest or unfair. At their finest, wholesome Eights are heroic, demonstrating power, self-confidence, a protecting nature, and magnanimity. Nonetheless, when working from a much less wholesome place, Eights can turn out to be ruthless, dictatorial, domineering, confrontational, and liable to self-glorification.
The best way to Obtain Steadiness:
For Eights, attaining steadiness means acknowledging and expressing their vulnerabilities. Regardless of their pure aversion to exposing their feelings, the trail to therapeutic for Eights includes studying the right way to take off their powerful exterior and permit themselves to be intimate and susceptible with these they belief. This technique of opening up can result in extra real connections and supply a much-needed outlet for his or her intense feelings. Moreover, Eights profit from setting apart time for quiet reflection and actions that nourish the soul, serving to them to attach with their deeper emotions and motivations. By means of these practices, Eights can discover a extra harmonious steadiness, enabling them to make use of their appreciable power in a manner that’s each empowering and compassionate.
Uncover extra about Eights: The Enneagram 8 – The Challenger
Enneagram Kind 9 – The Peacemaker
Nines naturally discover others’ positions, desires, wants, and what to align with. They’ve a robust need for peace, stability, and concord of their environments and relationships. Due to this, they have an inclination to see all factors of view, which supplies them a present for mediating and peacemaking. Nines attempt to keep away from battle and pressure, preferring a relaxed, serene existence.
At their finest, Nines are profoundly receptive, accepting, reliable, and current. They are often nice unifiers, bringing folks along with ease and selling an environment of mutual respect and understanding. At their worst, a 9 turns into complacent, disengaged, and neglectful of their very own needs and desires. They could go to nice lengths to keep away from battle, to the purpose of ignoring issues or minimizing their very own opinions and emotions to maintain the peace. This could result in passive-aggressive habits, emotional shutdown, and a way of disconnectedness from their very own life’s route.
The best way to Obtain Steadiness:
For Nines to attain steadiness, it’s essential for them to have interaction extra absolutely with their very own lives, recognizing that their presence and opinions matter. This may be inspired via practices that foster self-awareness, like journaling, mindfulness meditation, or assertiveness coaching. By acknowledging their very own price and the worth of their contributions, Nines can begin setting wholesome boundaries and expressing their wants and needs extra overtly. And for additional impression, bodily actions will help Nines reconnect with their our bodies and counteract their tendency in direction of inertia. By grounding themselves of their bodily senses and asserting their very own id, Nines can discover a extra genuine, conscious, and engaged way of life that offers them a fuller sense of that means and route.
Discover out extra about Nines: Seven Struggles of the Enneagram 9 Kind
What Are Your Ideas?
We’re keen to listen to your ideas and experiences! Do you acknowledge your self or somebody near you in these descriptions? Whether or not it’s about the way you’ve discovered steadiness, the challenges you’ve confronted, or suggestions for enhancing self-awareness, your enter is invaluable.
References:
The Knowledge of the Enneagram: The Full Information to Psychological and Non secular Progress for the 9 Persona Varieties by Don Richard Riso and Russ Hudson (Bantam Books, 1999)
The Enneagram, Relationships, and Intimacy by David Daniels, M.D. and Suzanne Dion (David Daniels and Suzanne Dion, 2018)
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