Home Astrology Management Freak Extraordinaire | ElsaElsa

Management Freak Extraordinaire | ElsaElsa

Management Freak Extraordinaire | ElsaElsa


taco bell drive thruThat is from earlier than I bought my management freakishness in hand. I wrote it in 2003, as a part of a sequence of vignettes that illustrated the scope of my downside with this.

I’m in my early 20’s right here. It’s my first husband and I.  He’s been on the town for 2 weeks and we’ve identified one another for considered one of them.

He’s calling me, “Peewee”, as a result of he’s 6’7″. I point out this so you possibly can higher image this…


We have been going by means of the drive-thru at a Taco Bell in rural Arizona. He’s from… er… out of city. And I imply, any city.

He pulls as much as the speaker on the drive-thru He orders a “Taco Burger” and I begin to snort. I’ve by no means heard of a taco burger. Taco Bell doesn’t have “taco burgers,” and that is what they inform him.

“Whaddya imply, you ain’t bought no taco burgers? What’s the matter with you? Ain’t this a Taco Johns?”

By the speaker, “Er, no sir. This can be a Taco Bell.”

“It’s? Okay. Effectively can’t you make me a taco burger anyway?”

I begin to flip crimson. I’m embarrassed. I’m already dyin’ within the automotive.

“No sir. No we will’t.”

“Why not?”

“Oh for chrissakes!” I say. “What the hell is a taco burger? This can be a fucking taco place. This isn’t fucking McDonalds.”

“You keep out of this,” he says. “This doesn’t concern you, Elsa. I’ll care for this. I do know what I wish to eat. I need a taco burger.”

“However it doesn’t exist! What the fuck is a taco burger anyway? They don’t have ‘em. Simply fuckin’ order one thing else.”

“I don’t know, peewee. There’s nothing like a taco burger to hit the spot.” He smiles.

“Oh brother. Simply get a fuckin’ taco.”

“I don’t need a fuckin’ taco. I need a fuckin’ taco burger. Matter of truth, I would like three of em!”

I snort. I’m mortified although, imagine it. And I’m beet crimson.

“I’m sorry, sir. We don’t have a taco burger,” says the drive by means of speaker.

“Effectively, can’t you make me one?”

“No sir, we will’t.”

“Why not? You bought some taco meat in there, doncha?”


“Okay, then. Simply throw some on a bun and provides it to me. With cheese! Three of ‘em, please.”

“Sir? We don’t have a bun.”


“We don’t have a bun. We don’t make taco burgers right here.”

He shakes his head. “No bun, huh? You positive?”

I interrupt. “Oh brother.”

“Simply hush over there,” he says to me. “I actually need considered one of these. Have you ever ever had a taco burger, Elsa?”

“Fuck no.”

“Effectively should you had, then chances are you’ll perceive.”

“Oh man! Give it up. No fuckin’ taco burger, okay? They don’t exist!”

“Sure they do. You don’t know what you’re speaking about.” He turns to the speaker. “Okay then. So you actually don’t have a bun in there? I would like three, however I’ll accept one. Do you’ve got one bun? That’ll be higher than nothing.”

“We don’t have any buns, sir.”

“Effectively dagnabbit! That’s too dangerous. Say! Possibly I’ll go to Safeway and get me some buns…”

I’m mad sufficient to spit.

“Er… By no means thoughts. My good friend right here appears to be like about able to blow a gasket. We’re going to mosey alongside, however might you ask your boss to purchase some buns? Inform him that there’s a brand new man, a giant man on the town from South Dakota, and he can eat not less than a six pack of taco bur…”

“Oh for chrissakes, shut up!” My head is in my palms.

He waves his hand on the speaker. “By no means thoughts. I’ve the Frito Lady right here and he or she’s gettin’ actual upset. I do not know why, however I believe that we’re gonna go away now.”

I fume.

“Yeah. She’s actually sizzling. I can see that they’ll be no taco burgers for me, right now. However inform your boss, okay? Ask him to get you some buns in there, so when a person comes by and he’s searching for a taco burger…”

I growl.

“Whoops! Gotta go. She beginning to froth on the mouth… er… I’ll test again subsequent week and see should you’ve bought these buns but, okay? And possibly you can also make me one. And possibly you may attempt one your self…”


He seems of the drive by means of lane, with me bitching at him. He ought to have simply tossed me from the automotive, however I believe he preferred my legs.



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