We’ve all had awkward blunders seared into our recollections, haunting us within the seconds proper earlier than we drift off to sleep. These awkward moments are uncomfortable and unavoidable, however what if we may get higher at dealing with them? What if these moments may truly be helpful? 

In her not too long ago revealed e book, Good Awkward: How one can Embrace the Embarrassing and Have fun the Cringe to Change into the Bravest You, Henna Pryor makes the case for harnessing our awkwardness. She argues that embracing awkwardness is usually a highly effective catalyst for private {and professional} progress. 

Pryor shares how we will reframe these moments, which can assist us to be much less awkward. She additionally explains how adopting a brand new mindset can rework awkwardness into a chance for authenticity, regardless of the setting.

Henna Pryor says awkwardness is each subjective and common

Pryor explains it’s essential to keep in mind that awkwardness is subjective, particularly after we attempt to label ourselves as awkward. 

“So there isn’t a such factor as a factually awkward individual,” she says. Not solely that, however awkwardness is a common emotion inherent within the human expertise. It’s not reserved for introverts or these perceived as much less assured. Understanding and accepting this universality is step one towards embracing awkward moments. And that one that looks as if they’ve by no means had a clumsy second of their life? They’ve merely mastered their comeback fee.

“They’re capable of come again from these emotions so much sooner; they don’t must get hooked by them,” Pryor explains. “If we will settle for it as a common emotion, one that everybody experiences, and begin to lay the inspiration when [awkwardness] does inevitably come, then it’s a lot simpler to simply accept that this isn’t simply us. It’s a human expertise.” 

Awkward doesn’t imply inept

After we’re at work and create a clumsy second, it’s straightforward to overthink issues and assume our colleagues or shoppers discover us incompetent. The leap to make awkwardness synonymous with weak point or incompetence is dangerously straightforward. 

Nevertheless, a key distinction that Henna Pryor makes is that awkwardness and ineptitude should not synonymous. Whereas we could really feel awkward in sure conditions, it doesn’t essentially mirror our competence or capabilities. 

“Early within the e book, I make the comparability that I might by no means rent a clumsy anesthesiologist. However I might be completely fantastic hiring a clumsy one, proper?” Pryor says. “So in case you are usually—at work or in your social circles—seen as competent, sensible, succesful, can get issues finished and also you occur to have a clumsy second, a cringe second, or an embarrassing state of affairs, you’ll not usually be seen as incompetent consequently. You’ll truly usually be seen as human and infrequently, not all the time however usually, extra heat and likable due to it—since you introduced humanity to the desk.”

Awkwardness is a social emotion, and Pryor says a part of releasing the facility from these awkward moments comes all the way down to reassessing the tales we inform ourselves after awkward moments. We will look at the tales we’ve instructed ourselves about approval and social acceptance. This entails difficult contaminative narratives and fostering a extra redemptive perspective, specializing in private progress relatively than perceived failure.

How one can be much less awkward: Apply makes excellent

Pryor additionally explains we reside in a society the place we attempt to optimize our social interactions. 

“As of late we actually don’t must put ourselves in conditions that will create a clumsy or embarrassing trade,” she says, pointing to examples like ordering meals by way of apps like DoorDash, texting our buddies from the automobile to allow them to know we’ve arrived and shutting the elevator doorways as quickly as we get in to keep away from sharing the elevator house with others.

“We more and more scale back the quantity of occasions that we now have these sorts of interactions, and it’s far too straightforward to keep away from in-person interplay with new individuals,” Pryor says. 

In a society more and more designed to reduce unplanned social interactions, Pryor advocates for intentional observe. Simply as bodily muscular tissues want train, our social muscular tissues require common engagement. Pryor suggests beginning small, like initiating a dialog throughout a grocery retailer go to or providing a toast throughout a household dinner. These small, intentional interactions assist construct the arrogance to navigate bigger, doubtlessly awkward situations.

“Creating moments for these little social interactions is what builds the muscle for the inevitable very human interactions the place awkwardness is prone to happen,” she says. “But when we don’t have observe, then we can not muster the braveness to have the conversations we have to or tolerate the awkwardness we’re going to ultimately expertise within the massive moments.”

Shifting your mindset: Go from avoiding awkwardness to embracing it

When studying methods to be much less awkward, the secret’s to shift your mindset and embrace awkwardness. As a substitute of optimizing interactions for smoothness, Pryor encourages individuals to deliberately embrace encounters that invite awkwardness. By reframing these moments as alternatives for authenticity and progress, people can progressively shift their mindset from avoidance to embrace.

As we rewire our psychological pathways, viewing social interplay as a practiced talent and fostering a mindset shift, we will domesticate a novel type of confidence—one that’s each real and endearing.

Picture by Ann Rodchua/Shutterstock.com

Iona Brannon is a contract journalist based mostly within the U.S. You possibly can learn extra of her work at ionabrannon.com.